Aftershock after narcissism abuse is a phenomenon that is little understood. The road to recovery is not easy at all and this might leave you second guessing yourself.

Logically, you think after leaving the abusive relationship, you should start recovering, right? but suddenly the aftershock sets in and the onslaught of months, years or even decades of abuse hits you like a jet plane.

Why is this happening to me?

Let me explain why this is happening to you. Once you are out of survival mode and have some time to think, to feel and to realize the extent of the narcissistic abuse that has taken place. You start feeling overwhelmed, deep despair and total heartbreak. You almost become obsessed trying to make sense of what happened to you, what could have happened and what should have happened and ultimately end up with more questions than answers.

The aftershock will drain you emotionally, to the point where you can barely function. You can’t get out of bed, you can’t sleep, you lose your appetite and your anxiety level is at it’s max. The future looks bleak and you feel hopeless.

Suffering from aftershock is more common than you think. We are human after all.

You also might feel like taking revenge at the end of the relationship, but a narcissist don’t play fair, so do not try to defeat the narcissist while you are suffering from aftershock, you are going through a lot already. The narcissist will see you as the enemy and try to destroy your credibility with smearing and want to dismantle your ability to move on.

Many don’t do well during this phase, understandably, because they don’t know how to get relief during the aftershock period.

The good news is, that you will get through it, healing takes time, don’t force yourself. Firstly, gain an understanding of what narcissistic abuse is, so that you can make sense of what happened to you.

Commit to self-healing, empower yourself and try to work through your emotions and more importantly get support. As you get better, the disconnection with the narcissist become real, you are less triggered and the aftershock period becomes manageable.

Your self-healing journey will bring relief, the negative emotions will melt away and everything will start coming together gradually, because your internal self is healing.

“You don’t attract narcissists because something is wrong with you. You attract narcissists because so much is right with you.”